You are 9

friday 4Zulhijjah 1428H = 14december 2007 @ 909am



my dear son

14dec 1998, you were born.

It was 9 years ago...at 655am.

at 1200midnight, my h/p alerts me of your birthday and i softly wished

you "happy birthday, i love you so much, you are the best thing happened

in my life".


now that you are gone...


memories,,,

son, i held you in my arms for only 8years and 9months

13september 2007 = 1Ramadhan 1428H, you left me.

we'd just came back from our surau after our tarawih prayers.


so many times i dream of you...i hugged you, held you tightly, kissed and smelled,

but when i'm awake, you are not there.

it wasn't easy letting you go...it wasn't easy moving on.

my life stops there.

i still see you as an 8year old.

when you turn 9 today...

how do you look today...

what are the words will you say to me today...

where do we celebrate your birthday today...

do you have the voice that i'm used to hear...

there are so many questions running, and i don't have a clue.

i still bear some regret for the things that i couldn't fulfill

or that i delayed it.

you wanted to see the dragon dance when we were going home after

your taekwondo

i remembered saying "they haven't started, let's go home and we come back later"

at home, you had your ice-cream and sometime later you gave me a card

.........

i laughed at what was written, and taking it for granted

and whenever i see any such performance, that memory comes back.

when you asked me to take you to the "eye of malaysia", i said "later",
"next time" or "we go during school holidays" or "we go together with your sister".

doesn't my heart breaks whenever i passed by that area?